Florida Keys – Shenanigans and Celebrations

Our first full day in the Florida Keys had us visiting the Turtle Hospital in Marathon, checking out the sights in Key West and some epic 50th Birthday celebrations!

An after dark arrival at our ultimate Florida Keys objective (see Day 1), and a quick pop-in to the 801 Bourbon Bar (and drag show), did not deter us from an early start for first full day in Key West. There was just about the cutest coffee bar on the street right behind us, The Moondog Café.

They hooked us up with some fabulous coffee for our journey back across 7 mile bridge. Yeah, who’s stupid idea was a 7 mile bridge? Why didn’t they just call it Feast For Sharks Freeway? It was this girl who insisted on seeing the Turtle Hospital in Marathon, and Peggy was kind enough to oblige, although it meant an hour back toward the mainland. But, come on, turtles! It had to happen.

The Turtle Hospital

The Turtle Hospital is a rescue, rehabilitate, and release center. We learned so much, and while they don’t let you actually touch or hold the turtles (they encourage you to not have your fingers snapped off, silly volunteers), it was informative and an incredible experience. They taught us about bubble butts, and environmental impacts on turtles, it was very moving.

We also learned that if they rescue a turtle that you find and report, you get to name the turtle. And suddenly our trip had a brand new mission! Find and rescue the future Miss Lola McFlippyfin!

Marathon Key

While that was super fun and all, it got hot, and we got hungry. Thankfully, there was Burdine’s on Marathon, just a wee bit away. You have to drive back into the boat docks and marinas to get to this place. But you are going to have to just go, and take a wrong turn or two, and circle back around to find this amazing place! They are upstairs from the boat launch, and the cases of the Catch of the Day.

Up on this outdoor patio of fabulous freshness; slight breeze blowing, amazing view, cold drinks, and wide array of local choices of food. It was every thing we ever wanted in a sister trip by the water.

Exploring Key West

I could have spent all day right there. But someone had to drive the bridge of death back to Key West, and seeing as the birthday girl drove the entire day before, that left your girl here as the designated. Once the car was safely parked for the day, the island hot spot walking tour began. And I mean this in the “we have no idea where we are going, but that way looks fun, Oooh, is that a bar?” kind of way.

We made it to the Mile Marker Zero sign, and BOOM right there was the Southernmost brewery, First Flight. The coolness oozed from this place. It is home to the Pan Am office where the very first tickets to the first Trans-Atlantic flight were sold, and is themed around old airplanes and the vibe of the 1920’s tropics. And, hot day/cold beer is one of my favorite combinations.

sister side note (ssn): First Flight is owned by Kelly McGillis!

Papa Pilar Distillery

I am ever so slightly literary idol fascinated. Our stop back had to include not just Hemmingway’s house, but also a visit to Pilar’s distillery. Best rum I have ever had! EVER! The regular and the spiced. The gift shop had awesome unique items, and the tasting room host told fabulous stories, and shared some fun facts about the island and it’s inhabitants (including one hysterical story of Hemmingway and friends drunkenly stealing the bricks for the wall around his house).

We ended up having too much fun to get back there and get some rum, but save your money, the rum is now available at Wine and More, so if you don’t get to the Keys, go get yourself this rum!

Conch Republic

And it was about this point where the horrifying true confession comes out: I had never had a conch fritter. Luckily, we found The Conch Republic Seafood Company was right down the street. The Conch Republic was right on the docks, open air as most places tend to be in Key West, amazing live music and conch fritters. It was definitely worth it for the experience of conch fritters, but nothing I need to really have again soon. I found them kind of MEH. But now, I’ve had them.

Caroline Street

Aside from my literary history love, I also have a slight obsession with locations in song lyrics. It’s true, I am known to belt out lyrics randomly, without shame, in perfect pitch. MY pitch, not societally approved pitch. So, we meandered on over to Caroline Street, just so I could have a picture taken AS the Woman Going Crazy on Caroline Street. Seriously? Yes! Google it! Do you even know Jimmy Buffett? Follow us, people, it’s a Key West Weekend, we are bathing in Parroty goodness.

Let the Birthday Celebrations Begin

We made a quick side stop for a potty break at this little hole in the wall I can’t find on a map that is Shots Only. . . where I discover Peanut Butter Jelly shots, and Peggy finds Mermaid water.

ssn: It is actually called Shots and Giggles and it was adorable!

This path led us naturally to Sloppy Joe’s, a Key West staple, that consistently makes the tourist list of places to go. It was cool, and I highly recommend a pop-in. Again, they had live acoustic music, dual bars for better service, island décor, worth the touristy stop. And that is where we met some new friends celebrating one of their birthdays, and HEY, it’s Peggy’s birthday too, FREE DRINKS!

ssn: Sloppy Joe’s has a live cam!! Check it out!

We Went Down to Captain Tony’s

After a couple more Key West inspired cocktails, we took our new friends and went down to Captain Tony’s (no, seriously, if you don’t know that reference, we can’t be friends anymore, sorry). And if this is where our story ends, and I die happy.

ssn – this is not where our story ends…

This is all I ever need, my sister, Key West, and Capt Tony’s!

– Drunk Patti

Y’all IT’S FOR REAL CAPTAIN TONY’S!!!! Bras hanging from the ceiling, dollar bills everywhere, cool-ass stools with singers names painted on them (Peggy got David Allen Coe, I got Senator Ted Kennedy. Hey wait, that means they weren’t all singers. . .hmmm.

The guitar player was taking requests (You don’t have to call me darlin, darlin), a hilarious couple telling us about the time they had sex in the Capt Tony’s bathroom like 20 years earlier. And the night gets a little fuzzier and fuzzier. We head back to the AirBnb, Peggy heads for bed, I head for the car to get my phone charger.

ssn: Wowwww…she forgot a LOT! First, we left with the purpose of going on a Walking Ghost Tour. Turns out, we were way too “tired” to focus and stealthily slipped away about 5 minutes in. Second, she made us get massages. Which I don’t remember but I know things were spinning and I didn’t want anyone touching me. Haha…

The End of a Fantastic Night

But then I apparently met more new friends who were celebrating another birthday and had the best Bahn Mi of my entire life at The Old Town Tavern & Beer Garden. Thanks AirBnb Host, Tom, for that recommendation. There are no pictures but it was phenomenal! Then I was off to bed after a crazy awesome Day 2 (and celebrating Peggy’s birthday in perfect #sisbehaving fashion.)

Continue the adventure…on to Florida Keys and Seaplane Adventure to Dry Tortugas National Park – you won’t want to miss this one!